To Clean or To Masturbate: That Is The Question

Well the hedonist in me is all over the masturbating. My husband took the children to play so that I could have a couple of hours to myself before work. I’m having people in tonight after work so I need to clean.

I’m tired of living in a mess and I’ve spent since the New Year going room by room. You’d be surprised how much crap a family of five can accumulate in a couple of years.

Now I’m procrastinating and instead of either cleaning or masturbating, I’m blogging.

I don’t even feel all that sexy anyway. But I should take advantage of being alone. Gawd knows my husband does it any chance he gets to be alone! Is masturbating for the sake of masturbating silly? I mean, I’ll do it in the shower regardless, but it might be nice to lay on the bed and actually enjoy my toys.

I dropped eggs on the floor in the kitchen. The dog ate the eggs but left the shells. There are dishes that unfortunately won’t clean themselves.

Here I sit, broken hearted, paid a dime and only farted, next time I think I’ll take a chance, save the dime and shit my pants.

I can’t decide, but I do know that I need to get the fuck off this computer or I’ll never get the house cleaned up for my friends tonight.

I’m probably going to masturbate first, then clean.

It just dawned on me: a friend of mine who used to work with me at Ye Olde Sex Shoppe told me she would put a vibrator inside her while she was vacuuming or doing dishes. It sure makes house work sound more appealing!

To Clean or To Masturbate: Both!

 

****Edit to add:

Just as I began washing the dishes, grasping onto a nice fantasy about The Man Who Is Not My Husband, the phone rang. It was the mother of my daughter’s friend saying she would be leaving in five minutes to drop her off. Damnit! Anyway, I raced upstairs and had myself a few power orgasms before they got home. They were so powerful in fact, that my toes curled and I gave myself charlie horses in both calves. Fuck yeah.

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2 responses to “To Clean or To Masturbate: That Is The Question

  1. Honey, You are a girl after my own heart!

    I just masturbated in the shower this AM, Mmmmm it was good.

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