The Masturbating Kitty

Sex is in the air and it’s contagious scent is wafting to the masses. I love how everyone gets horny in the spring. I’m definitely feeling the current of lust thrumming through the clean spring air.

I can’t get enough. I’m turned on all the time. Last night at work was hard because all of the girls are feeling it to. It doesn’t help that we got a new line of product in and we were playing with all the new vibrating toys. It also doesn’t help that I’m almost finished reading my ridiculous sexy romance novel.

I came home to devour my husband with my vagina, but he wasn’t in the mood. Oh, the frustration!

It doesn’t matter. He’s gone with the kids, so as soon as I’m finished eating my lunch, I’m going to go and worship myself. It will be fulfilling and glorious.

Last night at work, Red was telling me about her friend’s cat, who would sit on the radiator in her apartment and make strange ‘me-oooOoOoOOw’ing sounds as it grinded on the radiator. Apparently if you went near her, the cat would keep making the sound but just in an angrier way. I laughed all night, especially at the way Red imitated the cat.

What would you do if you had a masturbating kitty? I believe it would make me laugh, a lot. But I also find it funny to watch dogs going at it.

I think at the root of all things, we’re all just animals trying to get it on.

I swear, my crotch is on fire with desire. I want to hump everything, including the radiator. My blood is singing with the sweet ache of lust and I’m pretty sure my pupils are fully dilated all the time. Everything is sexual. I am the embodiment of the masturbating kitty.

I hope everyone is feeling like this because it just feels so goddam good!

Imagine if all the world leaders felt like this at the same time? I guarantee wars would cease. Make orgasms, not war.

I also used to wonder what it would be like if the whole world orgasmed as one. I bet the pent up energy would be felt the world over, and in that final release of climax, the world would ripple with love and happy, positive energy. The hippies would be turning in their graves having felt that kind of energy ripple through the universe.

It would make angels weep.

 

 

 

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