I’m a terrible hostess. My buddy just left and I didn’t even see him to the door. Luckily, he expects this crass behaviour from me, so I’ll sit here, warm on the couch, my bra off before he even made it up the stairs. I’m cozy under the blankets, checking my sites and depending on the interweb to keep me entertained while my husband plays Skyrim.
We went to the mall tonight and had supper. I was there with the kids and my buddy, who would have been taken as the father. It’s funny, just ‘insert man here’ and you have a new family unit. Nothing against my husband, who was at work. I just thought it was a little funny.
At one point, while I ventured to the bathroom with my son, I noticed a group of what I like to refer to as, ‘yo, guy’s. You know, barely past 11 with the cell phone that mommy gave them as a leash, hats half hanging on their heads, pants half falling down their asses. My husband and I yo, guy, whenever we see them. (Imagine saying it like you’re protesting something, “Nooo!”) It makes us laugh. Especially when we’re in the car. I’ll lean over, and he leans in, and without any preamble, starting low and getting real loud by the end, “yooOO! GUY!”
So there was this group of Yo’Guys at the mall and as I walked by, one of them yells out to his friend who was heading towards the bus, “Yo, Guy! F.B. Okay? Facebook me!” I almost burst out laughing because this kid was such a caricature of himself. F.B.? Really? As he hollers across the food court.
As we were leaving the mall, an old woman with garish makeup complemented me on my children. Her makeup scared me, because it made her face look orange while her neck was white. Her hair was bright and curly and sat high on her head. She was the nicest lady, if a little scary looking. She kept speaking to me in french and told me that I was so young to have 3 children. (She never asked me my age.) She told me they were lovely and that I was lucky to have such beautiful children. She was very sweet, and I love getting complements like that. Even when my children are being bratty and not listening.