Let us go back for a moment, to the wedding. It has come to light recently that our friend MadEye made some drunk texts to a friend of ours that lives out of town. For shit’s and giggles, we’ll call him Vincent. He happened to be in town for Christmas and was even supposed to come out to the wedding with us. His plans changed and he didn’t end up making it.
Now, let’s recount, MadEye was drunk. MadEye was hitting on the DJ all night; quite a handsome gentleman, to be fair. (Yes, she’s married, and was flirting in good fun.)
Recently, Vincent was over visiting my husband and I, and he mentioned that MadEye sent him a text the night of the wedding to come and hang out with the hot DJ. I would almost classify Vincent as a homophobe, so this text would have displeased him considerably. It was mentioned in passing, as he wasn’t sure how to take it.
Obviously, never being one to relinquish ammo, I mocked her mercilessly for it when next I saw her, which was on New Year’s Eve.
“As if you texted him asking him to come hang out with the hot DJ…who was a MAN! Why the hell would he want to come hang out with a guy you think is hot!?” etc ad nauseam.
I found out this evening that she considered this a betrayal on his part and that she will be more careful about opening up to people in the future.
Really? This was a betrayal? For realz? <– I’m so baffled by this that I’m resorting to lol-speak.
You know, I would understand if she had told him some deep dark secret, like, she killed her childhood pet in a sacrificial ritual, but a drunk text, mentioned in passing? Shirley, you jest! (Don’t call me Shirley.)
Anything you say when you’re drunk texting shall be used against you.
It made me laugh. I welcomed her to the wonderful world of doing something humiliating while being drunk, (something I am well acquainted with), something she clearly needs to reacquaint herself with.
Seriously? She feels like she can’t trust him anymore? Over the mentioning of a drunken text? I honestly just can’t fathom it. Maybe I’m just a cruel task mistress, but I don’t understand what this has to do with trust. Obviously, we as her girlfriends failed her, as one of us should have been there with her to ensure this never happened. (Never drunk text alone! Always check with the girls first to make sure you don’t make a fool of yourself!)
Keeping in mind that MadEye is hyper-sensitive and takes most things incredibly personally, even still, I don’t see why this caused her to feel like she needs to limit who she trusts. Although, I am looking at this through my eyes. If this happened to me, I’d blush at my stupidity and then I’d laugh it off. BFD.
She texted me: “I was trying to be funny with him that’s all. I had no reason to think he’d go and tell anyone. Don’t get me wrong, I still consider him a friend.”
First of all, I think she needs to reevaluate what she thinks is funny. What’s funny to her isn’t what’s funny for most people. (Quick side story: One night the gang was over and we were all showing each other youtube videos of hilarious things that had us all laughing so hard we were clutching our stomachs like we had diarrhea cramps, and then she shows us something that she thought was the funniest thing in the world: Salad Fingers. All laughter ceased abruptly.) Second, I don’t understand why it bothered her that he told anyone, except for maybe that I would make fun of her. Which I did. And finally, I hope to fuck she would still consider him a friend, because it’s not like he betrayed her or anything!
All that to say, he would be her ‘end of the world fuck’, in response to my last post, The End is Nigh. She also told me not to hold back in this post knowing that she might read it. Which I didn’t, also, I hope it’s not soul crushing for her.
“I need you to help me stop being so hyper sensitive.”
I feel like that would be a whole post unto itself. I mostly don’t give a fuck what people think of me, so I don’t take what anyone says personally, except when it’s a cruel jab by a close loved one. Even then, though. I don’t lay awake at night going over conversations that I’ve had during the day imagining all the things I could have said differently, all the ways I could have done something different. Why fucking bother? What a waste of time! It doesn’t matter what you said, because you’ve already said it. The day is done. Live with it the way it happened. Otherwise, insomnia will dominate you. I was told recently by a friend of mine with social anxiety that he painstakingly goes over and over the things he’s said to people during the day. That, for me, would be a fate worse than death.
It doesn’t matter that you said something with a certain inflection, or if you could have said something differently. It doesn’t matter one sweet fuck because it’s already been said. Anyway, I don’t know how to help someone not be so sensitive. I constantly get in shit from people for not being sensitive enough. I’m oblivious and cruel.
I’m sure there’s a middle ground somewhere in between those two extremes, and if I ever find it, I’ll let you know. For now though, I’d much rather live my day with no regrets and go to bed dreaming of adventures, than lying awake at night wondering how I could have said something differently, or worse, feeling betrayed over a silly drunken text I’d sent.