Mixed Messages

I’ve managed to piss my mother off…again. Last Saturday she had a party and invited us all to come over to her place. My in-laws were invited and all was lovely. Just after supper the in-laws left and then the real party started. We were drinking and my mom had decided that day that she was no longer going to smoke pot.

This made my insides quiver because she has a seriously terrible temper and it’s only kept in check by her smoking pot. I remember when she quit smoking cigarettes how bad it was.

My brother’s friends came over to party with us and all I could think was here are these fucking 25-year-old guys who are slaving away at pizza delivery jobs, living at home almost rent free and they’re doing fuck all with their lives. I told them as much and we got into this big discussion about it. I thought it was fun. MadEye was there and she seemed to be having fun. My mom seemed to be having fun too. Eventually they leave and we start talking about other things, reminiscing and whatever, and I throw out that one of the few times my parents had gone on a trip and were out of town, I had sex in their bed. I was laughing because I thought it was funny.

That’s when things got real bad. My mom started going on about how that’s such a slap in the face, it’s so disrespectful, it’s the ultimate of disrespect, she wishes I had never told her.

“Seriously, mom? That was over 10 years ago.”

“I don’t care!”

She went on and on about how disgusting it was and now she felt like ripping up her covers and stabbing her mattress and then lighting it on fire. I’m couldn’t even exaggerate this if I tried, she actually said all this shit. I was like, ‘it’s not even the same bed that you had when I was in high school,” and she again told me she didn’t care.

I was too drunk to even know how to respond. I just sat there while she seethed at me and felt more and more like a kid again. Finally, when she was done ranting, she stormed off to her room. I called my husband to come and pick MadEye and I up. Party over.

The next day my brother called but I was out. I was afraid to call him back in case my mother answered. I didn’t speak to her all this week (which is saying something since I talk to her almost every day.)

When we got on the phone today, she went on again about how it’s the ultimate disrespect to have slept in their bed. For real? I’m not going to feel bad about something I did over 10 years ago. Go fuck yourself. She made me promise not to get drunk in front of her ever again. My grandmother was disgusted by me because of my swearing. My dad was mad because he told me before he never wanted to see me drunk, ever again. She told me I’m not a fun drunk and I will never be allowed to drink alcohol, not even a sip at their house. Then she told me no one was mad, everything was fine, they just want it known that I’m not to drink at their place ever again. Ok, fine. Then she goes on about how gross it was that I slept in their bed, regardless of how long ago it was.

Holy mixed messages.

I mean, she claims she’s all open and that we can talk about anything, and usually we do. I’ve told my mom things that most other people go out of their way to hide. I never know where the boundary lines are, I never have. And people wonder why I have issues with boundaries. Sweet fucking christ.

I don’t even care. So fucking what? I fucked in your bed. Whatever. Everyone’s fucked in their parents bed! It’s usually the most comfortable bed in the house! Whatever.

She also told me that I owe an apology to everyone. My grandmother for swearing, my dad for breaking my promise of him never seeing me drunk again and my brother.

Why do I have to apologize to my brother? I honestly don’t understand why issuing them life lessons needs an apology. People who don’t have kids don’t get it. My husband and I often talk about where our money would go if we didn’t have kids. We would have so much! But you’ll never know that until you have kids. It really burns my ass that these fucking guys, with so much potential, do nothing but deliver pizza and work in warehouses and do nothing else but drink and party. Assholes. Get a real fucking life. Go to school! If I could go back to school, I would, in a heartbeat. Nothing is stopping them. NOTHING. Assholes. Take advantage of what you have while you have it!

My mom told me that was mean. So fucking what? I will speak from this experience. I will tell them that they’re idiots for not doing anything with their lives. If that’s mean, then so be it. I’m a mean asshole anyway, right?

I’m just a mean, horrible, asshole and a flighty friend. What good am I to anyone, anyway?

I made dinner tonight and it wasn’t even good enough for my husband to eat. He sat there and told me he wasn’t hungry. I told him to leave the table. I had 7 leg of lamb steaks cooked from supper left over. It’s now a little past midnight and because I made him feel bad about ordering Chinese food, he decided to eat nothing instead. Fine.

What the fuck do I know. I’m just an asshole.

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One response to “Mixed Messages

  1. Your mom scares the fuck out of me when she’s angry; I think I would shit myself stupid if I was on the receiving end of her wrath. That being said, she’s crazy for reaming you out for something that happened ages ago. As for your dad and granny, did you hear those things from them personally or is mom putting words in their mouths?? What did your brother say?

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