The Other Shoe

I just read my last post, prior to the one I just posted (The Purge) and I guess I’ve left you hanging.

I went back to him. I’m still with my husband. It was a hard choice to go back, but we’ve gone to counseling. Things right now are going well, but I don’t anticipate they’ll stay that way for long. Living with him is like walking on egg shells. A few weeks ago it was so bad that I was actually looking for a place to live. Unfortunately I don’t have enough money to make it on my own.

How can you love someone so much, but know that they’re not right for you?

I was telling my husband about a plan I had to make our house a little nicer. I want to redo the front hall and I have some inexpensive ideas. I was just tossing them around, trying to see what he thought.

“I think it’s a stupid idea.”

“What part of it is stupid?”

“The idea itself is fine, it’s just stupid because it’s your idea.”

He actually said that me.

He’s been harbouring resentment that, from the spring, I maxed out a $6000 credit card that he never knew I had. Yeah, I know that’s not cool. I broke his trust.

He’s hurt me too much, he’s broken my trust.

Now we’re trying to rebuild that trust, but I don’t know how to get it back.

As I said, we’re alright for now. I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop, as it always does.

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